I wasn't nervous...

Not until I got the call from my doctor's office today.

The woman who organizes surgical procedures for my doctor is a complete mess. At least her office is anyway. It looks like her filing cabinets exploded onto her desk and floor. I'm not sure the woman has filed a single piece of paper work the entire time she has worked there and from the looks of all the nick-nacks in her office that is a very long time.

She called me this afternoon to tell me what time to be at the hospital tomorrow. During our one minute and thirteen second conversation (I know, I checked my phone) she had to "double check" my file twice because she had incorrect information.

First she wanted to confirm my pain meds because apparently I'm allergic to codeine. I'm not. I noted that on my paperwork last week, but I told her again, just as a reminder you know. She checked my file, "Oh, no, you're not allergic to codeine." Yes, I know.

Second she made sure she was calling in to the correct pharmacy. She'd already called in two of my medications - to the wrong pharmacy. The thing is, I sat in her office and watched her write down the name of my pharmacy! In her own writing! While she spoke the name aloud!!

We got everything sorted out and she told me what pain medication she was calling in: lortab. I had taken it after my accident as prescribed by the doctor she works for, so that was no problem I told her.

I'll be there tomorrow. Thank you. Goodbye.

This afternoon I had a few things to do around town and swung by the pharmacy to pick up my medications for tomorrow. They were there, she had corrected that mistake at least.

I had three.

One was an antibiotic, something I expected, just a precautionary measure.

The next was a SUPPOSITORY for nausea and vomiting. A suppository? To go along with the two ORAL medications I will be taking? What the eff? I'm fairly certain my doctor didn't prescribe a suppository, not to me anyway.

I can promise you this; I will not be taking a suppository. I'd rather throw up than take a suppository. Also, considering that I haven't blown chunck since 2002, including during all the crazy from my accident, I don't plan on getting sick. Now watch me eat my words, at least on the throwing up part, not the suppository, I'm not backing down on that one.

So, guess what my pain medication was...

Not lortab.

Vicodin.

Yes, that's right, vicodin. What the eff, again. I've never taken vicodin. Granted I've also never had any allergic and/or bad reaction to medication, but what happened to the lortab?

I'm a little concerned that there is a person scheduled for surgery tomorrow with a weak constitution and an allergy to codeine that is in big trouble. I wish them well.

I'm also a little concerned that I'm going to get there tomorrow and she is going to have screwed stuff up so bad that I'll wake up with a completely new nose.

Now, plastic surgery is something I've never seriously considered. If I had rhinoplasty would be low on my list. I like my nose the shape it is. I just need to be able to breath. That's all.

My game plan is to not allow them to put me to sleep until everyone knows what's being done to my face. I don't want any surprises. I've had enough of those for a while.

Also, I'm taking my meds with me to show to my doctor and confirm that they are all for me. Like I said, no surprises.

Please say a little prayer, meditate, send some ju-ju, stand on your head and think hard in my direction. Whatever it is you do. I'd appreciate it.