Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Time together

For the last two and a half years that Andy and I have been married we have always had long periods of time where we don't really get to see each other. Usually this is caused by our employment situations. Schedules not matching and whatnot. It isn't something we mind so much. I like my alone time and Andy likes to be busy. So we've been ok with finding a day or two here and there to spend as a married couple.

I guess the majority of our relationship has been this way. We've never clung to tightly to one another and always been happy to give the other person the space that they need. I think it's how we survive. We love one another very much, but even the most solid couples need some time apart once in a while.

Lately though, it seems like our time apart has taken over our marriage. One of us always had something to do that didn't include the other. I didn't realize how much I was missing time with my husband until recently.

Since the accident we've had nothing but time together. I'm not very independent with constant pain medication and crutches. It took me a while to convince Andy that I could do anything by myself. For the first week he was afraid to go anywhere if there wasn't another person here to look after me. That was stressful. There were things he needed to do, but we each knew that he was stuck here at home until some relief came.

As I have healed we have managed to work out a schedule. I'm more steady on my crutches and I even worked out a system so that I can shower without assistance. The main thing I can't do is prepare food for myself. Since the ski shop is just up the road Andy can pop in and get me food and check on me. I know he's been glad to go back to work. It takes his mind off of all the stress that has come from the accident. It also gives me some time to myself, which is something I have always treasured.

But these last couple of weeks, evenings have been reserved for just the two of us. Before the accident if we found ourselves home together too often at night we would get bored really easily and argue about what to watch on television. We've even been known to make up excuses to drive to town and break up the monotony of it all.

Now though, we enjoy each others' company. We always have something to talk about. The other person's television preferences are interesting rather than boring. Last night we sat on the couch for a couple of hours looking at recipes on The Pioneer Woman and laughing at the decorator disasters on Cake Wrecks. It was the most fun we've had in a really long time. Including before the accident.

If anything good has come from this whole debacle it's this. Our relationship seems to be on a totally different level now. I know taking care of me, the apartment, the bunnies, the legal matters and his job have been very stressful for Andy. I'm still trying to figure out a way to thank him when this is all over. In return he's thankful to see me healing; to know for sure that his wife will soon be whole again. I haven't been in Andy's shoes before; not yet anyway. I hope to never be on the receiving end of a situation like this. I can only imagine what was going through his head when he got that phone call three weeks ago. A stranger on the other end calling to say that his wife had been in a head on collision and he needed to come to the scene of the accident. What did he think when he saw me? How alone he must have felt before our families got to the hospital.

He's my love and my best friend. When all this is over and our lives return to normal I'm going to do my best to remember this feeling. To remember how much I appreciate him right now and to never take our time together for granted again.


A small update:
  • I get my cast off on May 18th! That's two weeks before we originally thought. I'll still have to be in a boot, but I can take a shower without the "cast condom" and put my designer crutches away, hopefully forever.
  • Right now I can't breathe out of my right nostril. This could be because there are still some stitches in there that are clogging it up. It could also be because I'm still slightly swollen on that side. Or it could be because of my deviated septum and will need to be corrected with surgery. I won't know until I go to the doctor on the 27th. Until then I'm praying for either of the first two options.

No comments:

Post a Comment