Friday, May 30, 2008

Share the road?

I went to the store earlier tonight to grab some dinner.

I pulled out into the road and these two cyclists were coming down off of Sugar and for a second I thought they weren't going to stop and just roll out in front of me. Which would have been a bad decision considering I would not have had time to move and could have hit them. They didn't, they reluctantly stopped.

They did however decide it was a good idea to pull on out in front of the van that was coming up, rather speedily, behind me. This caused the van to have to swerve into the other lane. Luckily there was no oncoming traffic.

Does it occur to cyclists that "share the road" can go both ways? And should go both ways? Just because their mode of transportation doesn't have an engine doesn't make them exempt from traffic laws. Basic traffic laws at that. Stop at a stop sign and wait for oncoming traffic to pass. It isn't hard. And for the record, they didn't come up with hand signals because they thought it was fun. They are there to help keep everyone safe.

I have the utmost respect for the people that get out there and pedal up these hills and around these curves. I certainly don't do it and I have no plans to. Good for them. I don't have respect for the ones that think they are entitled to their own set of rules that they have made up in their head.

I'll share the road with you all day long, but not if you think it's ok to do things that endanger yourself and others. Get it together cyclists!

I don't care if it's uncooth...

I love poop jokes!! This was posted on the Nest today. If you're squeamish, I don't suggest you read any further.

Ghost Poop ~~ You know you've pooped. There's poop on the toilet paper, but no poop in the bowl.

Teflon Coated Poop ~~ Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of poop on the toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet bowl to be sure you did it!

Gooey Poop ~~ This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your butt 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. This poop leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.

Second Thought Poop ~~ You're all done wiping your butt and you're about to stand up when you realize've got some more.

Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poop ~~ This kind is the kind of poop that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.

Bali Belly Poop ~~ You poop so much you lose 5 pounds.

Right Now Poop ~~ You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down.

King Kong or Commode Choker Poop ~~ This poop is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind of poop usually happens at someone else's house.

Wet Cheeks Poop ~~ This poop hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your butt wet.

Wish Poop ~~ You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no poop!

Cement Block or Oh God Poop ~~ You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you poop.

Snake Poop ~~ This poop is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at least three feet long.

Cork Poop (Also Known as Floater Poop) ~~ Even after the third flush, it's still floating in there. My god! How do I get rid of it? This poop usually happens at someone else's house.

Mexican Food Poop (also called Screamers) ~ You'll know it's alright to eat again when your butthole stops burning.

Beer Drunk Poop ~~ This happens the day after the night before. Normally your poop doesn't smell too bad, but this poop is BAD. Usually there's somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of poop also usually happens at someone else's house.

The Frightened Turtle ~~ The kind of poop that just pokes its head out then quickly goes back in.

The Bungee Poop ~~ The kind of poop that just hangs off your butt before it falls into the water.

The Ring of Fire Poop ~~ The kind of poop where you eat really spicy food and your butthole feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter.

The Crippler ~~ The kind of poop where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.

The Big Bobber ~~ The kind of poop that no matter how many times you flush it always floats back to the surface.

The Chitty Chitty Bang Bang ~~ The kind of poop that hits you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.

The Incredible Hulk Poop ~~ The king of poop that sits in the toilet overnight and mysteriously expands to twice it's normal size.

Jack the Ripper Poop ~~ The kind of poop that yanks out your butthair as it pushes its way out.

The Party Pooper ~~ The giant poop you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.

The Toxic Gas Poop ~~ The kind of poop that makes you pass out and fall of the toilet before you finish, and then you wake up in some strange South American town.

Dirty Bowl Poop ~~ The kind of poop that comes out in a million pieces a second, reminiscent of an avalanche - but with rocket propulsion, and splatters all over the toilet bowl.

The Windy City Poop ~~ When you sit down, and fart for so long and hard that you no longer need to take a poop.

Oh Poop! Poop ~~ You poop so much and wipe your butt so furiously you run out of toilet paper and you say OH ****!

The Never Ending Poop ~~ It's the poop that keeps running out of your butt like pee, and just when you start wiping your butt your stomach gargles and splash, more poop runs out. This always happens after eating at K.F.C.

Thursday, May 29, 2008


What a horrible evening. I'm going to go to bed and hope that a meteor doesn't land on us while we sleep tonight.

I can't believe I forgot!!

Andy and I got a bistro set last week for the porch. I've been meaning to put some pictures up. It started out all green. That was a lot of green for us, so we spray painted it mostly white and left some green accents.

It needs a few touch ups, but here it is.

I'm old and I have new hair...

Tuesday evening I went down to Wilkes to go with Julie and Philip to give out the scholarship in Vicki's memory. They were both really nervous and having kind of a hard time with the day. That family has just been through so much and I pray that their troubles are over and they can move on, not forgetting their past and their memories, but keeping them close to their hearts to bolster them up when they are having a rough day.

Julie was super nervous, but she didn't throw up, which is always a good thing! They started the ceremony with the Madrigal group singing "Joshua fit the battle of Jerico". Julie and I made faces at each other from across the room. That song is a staple in every high school chior and 10 years later I can still sing it from start to finish without the words in front of me.

Then came the endless list of presenters. I have to say I still get annoyed when the same kids go up over and over and over again. I truly thing ceremonies like this are kind of cruel. They only recognize a handful of students and make the rest feel like crap. And a month from now no one is going to remember except the honored students and their families.

Finally, Julie got up to give her speech. She spoke beautifully, but unfortunately the student wasn't there. Bummer! I know they were both disappointed. Apparently the school doesn't require students to come and about half the senior class was missing. Oh well. Julie conquered her nervous stomach and she gave her speech with vigor. Vicki is smiling down from heaven at her beautiful daughter.

Julie giving her speach

So after Julie presented, she looked at me from across the room and asked if I wanted to go. No I said, there is someone here I wanted to see (I'll get to that in a second). Well, I thought that the program was almost over. Julie was next to last on the presenters list and we could wait another minute couldn't we? Well, she came over to sit with us and kindly pointed out to me that she was not next to last. They had a whole other list of presenters on the back of that stupid program. Holly Cow! I decided that I could say hello another time. So we devised a plan to sneak out. When the next presenter got up we were going to leave. Well, I guess I wasn't paying attention because all of a sudden Phillip punched me in the arm to go. Umm... Ouch! I was trying not to laugh all the way out of the gym. We left and Phillip took us to eat at Village Inn. YUM!! All around a good night.

So who did I want to see at the end of that gruesome ceremony? Miss Ellie McCabe, that's who. Ellie was the first kid I ever baby sat. Way back when. I knew she was a senior, but I was a little shocked to see her in her cap and gown. Kind of a reality check for me. Did I mention that she's about a foot taller than I am? And she was one of those kids that got called up all the time. I know I complained about that earlier, but I can't say I didn't swell with pride a little ever time her name was called. Congratulations Ellie!!!

Ellie, receiving one of her many awards

On to Wednesday!
I got my hair cut yesterday afternoon. I'm not super excited with how it turned out. It isn't a bad cut, just not what I was looking for. I couldn't find a picture that was really what I wanted, so I just kind of tried to tell Kari what I was trying to go for. Clearly, Kari needs a picture. So next time I won't make my appointment until I can find a good visual representation of what I want.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The sweet spot

I feel like I've been hit by a truck. Why you ask? Well I'll tell you...

Last night we went to a cook out for Memorial Day and we got home around 10. I was pretty tired and decided at 20 till 11 that I was going to bed. Andy said he wanted to finish the program he was watching and then he'd be to bed too.

OK, fast forward to 5:30am. I wake up out of a very restful sleep to find all the lights on in the kitchen and living room, the TV on full blast and my dear, sweet husband passed out on the couch. I must say that I was shocked, and a little angry. It was inevitable that the TV would eventually wake me up. I got him up, we put the bun away (he was enjoying his freedom behind the couch) and we went to bed. But for the next two hours I didn't really go back to sleep. I tossed and turned and didn't really go back to sleep until right before Andy's alarm went off at 7. Then I knew I had 30 more minutes of peace and I was wide awake. So because of all this and my lack of sleep I feel like I've been hit by a truck. And I have to go be cheerful and make small talk tonight. Ugh!

At this point you are wondering what the heck all this has to do with "the sweet spot." No?

Well, since we have gotten our new couch I have taken several naps on it. Something about the squishy, soft, leathery surface sucks me in and I go right to sleep. And then I can't wake up. I can even sleep on my back on the couch and I've never been able to sleep on my back.

This is a complete role reversal from our old couch which Andy conked out on most every night. He has been complaining that he hasn't quite found the right position/pillow/place on the new couch to go to sleep. Well, it appears that he has found his sweet spot. It is officially broken in.

Monday, May 26, 2008


I've had the hiccups and I can't get rid of them. I've had them for at least 10 minutes. It's starting to hurt my back. This stinks.

Happy Memorial Day!

I forgot to add that in the previous post. Enjoy the last hours of freedom (for those of you that had off today), some of us are not so lucky.


Can someone please explain to me the phenomenon that is my hair? For at least two weeks now it has done nothing but be a pain in my ass. It looks like poo as soon as I walk out the door in the morning. So why now two days before my hair appointment is it acting perfectly. Why does it insist on being fabulous right before I'm going to have a life changing hair cut? Ok, not really life changing, I'm not planning on chopping it all off, but I am considering something a lot different. But now I'm reconsidering having a drastic change since it has decided it would like to cooperate with me and my shiny new hairdryer (see below). Time will tell. Perhaps tomorrow it will be back to it's craptastic self and I'll keep plan A.

In other news: The new dryer is installed. Yippie! Gone are the days of elevated power bills and believing fully that the dryer will take off and fly away at any minute.

We're going to a Memorial Day bbq in a bit with a lot of people who are a lot younger than us and as a result have a lot more energy. Andy just came in the door and said he was tired.

Him: I'm tired wifey.

Me: Do you not want to go then?

Him: No, I want to go. I'll just have a little rest before we leave.

So is he 25 or 52?

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Smoking clothes = a new dryer

Finally, they broke down and they're going to spend some $$ on this place. When we first moved in I told the landlords that it took 2-3 hour long cycles to dry one load of clothes. Nothing was ever done about it.

Last night I put a load in to dry. About 10 minutes later I heard a bunch of change rolling around in there (out of Andy's pants no doubt) and it was driving me crazy. So I went to get it out and when I opened the dryer door the clothes were smoking! Yes, literally smoking. So Andy went to tell them this morning about the problem. At first they said that they would have someone come look at it (one of the landlord's husbands) and if he couldn't fix it they would call a repair man.

Really? A repair man? This thing is at least 20 years old and you're going to pay a repair man to tell you that you need to buy a new dryer? I understand frugality and not spending money if you don't have to, but who really thinks you need to fix a 20 year old dryer? So they told the husband and thankfully he has some sense. Because he didn't even need to come look at it before he came to the conclusion that the heating element was probably bad and they would be better off just buy a new one. Why? Because in his words, "It's just too old." Huh, who'd have ever thought of that?

So we are anxiously awaiting the arrival of our new dryer!

Saturday, May 24, 2008

I'm Smad!!

That's right I said it, I'm smad. The beach is calling my name, but I can't answer because gas is $4/gallon right now. I was supposed to go and spend a glorious weekend at the beach with Whitney for her bachelorette party. My plans were sidetracked, however, by the ever climbing cost of gasoline. This is ridiculous. I'm so mad. And I'm so sad. I'm smad!

PS, 10 points to the person who can tell me what I'm talking about.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

New Hairdryer 5000

A girl can't be expected to go a day without a hairdryer can she? Right after work today Andy and I took a trip to Walmart and picked up a new one. He, of course, thought it was ridiculous how much I was willing to spend. But I didn't want to get the cheapest because I want it to last me a while. I didn't buy the most expensive either because after all I'm not made of money you know.

Here it is in all it's glory.

4 heat settings, 3 power settings, and "IONIC Technology." But if the ions prove to be too much for me I have an on and off button.

I think I'll take a shower tonight so I can try it out.

Is the week over yet?

So my sinus infection is in full swing. I also have a sore throat now thanks to the never ending stream of grossness running down my throat. Yummy!

It's another crappy day outside. I put on short sleeves this morning. I was hopeful that the temperature would defy the sky today and be around 60. It didn't. I set one foot out the door and immediately turned around and put on a turtleneck. It was 48. I left of my flip flops though. It's May 21st and my feet are tired of being confined in shoes. So I'm bluffing the weather and my feet are free today. My poppy colored toenails are out for everyone to see and they are happy! At least part of my body is happy.

Also, my hairdryer broke this morning. It's my fault though. I jinxed myself about two mornings ago. I was drying my hair and thinking how good this particular dryer had been. It had lasted a long time (I bought it summer of '04) and I was surprised that it hadn't broken yet. Low and behold two mornings later it shut down mid dry. So now my hair is in a lovely, fuzzy pony tail. I can often beat my hair into submission but the beating can not commence unless my hair is fully dry. I did attempt to use my curling brush to dry the rest of it. I took off the brush part and turned it on, but at that rate it would have taken an hour for my hair to dry. So I gave up.

I called Whitney last night to tell her that I can't go to her bachelorette weekend. I can't afford the gas. I just love the new improved gas prices. I think they're super. I'm thinking all kinds of bad things about the gasoline industry right now. I won't put it in type though, so as to avoid another hairdryer type incident.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Sinus update...

My head is going to explode and my ear is ringing.

Oh and I just got soaked walking to my car from work. Pajamas please!

I need some claritin...

Well hello sinuses.

I woke up this morning to a lovely headache and nasal canals full of snot. I wish I could stick a little vacuum up in my head and suck it all out. I hate when my sinuses hit me like this. There is no warning and then WHAM!! Ugh. I want to go home, put on some pajamas and curl up on the couch.

And it is really gloomy outside, which doesn't help my disposition one bit. I have some sick time built up so technically I could take a half a day off, but my logical brain is telling me to suck it up and save the sick days for an actual factual sickness.

Monday, May 19, 2008

A day at the park

This afternoon we strapped our bunny in his harness hooked him to his leash and took him to the park. All-in-all it was a success. We didn't stay very long. He's still trying to understand the whole harness/leash thing and outside gives him to many options for exploration he sometimes just sits because he doesn't know what to do. I think the most trauma was caused by the car ride. That's something that I don't think he'll ever grow to like. Here are some pictures from the big outing.

Walking Mommy

Hiding under the tree

Daddy trying to coax him out from under the tree

Posing for the camera

Riding home

Weekend recap!

It was a very relaxing weekend at the Steele house. My wedding band was finally out of repair so Friday I drove down to Winston after work to pick it up. My trip wasn't very eventful. I got my ring and went to Petsmart to pick up some things for Brunswick. I got him a leash and harness set, but when I got it home it was way too small. Turns out he is much bigger in person than he is in my head. Oh well.

I was determine to find a harness for Brunswick because the spring weather looks like it's here to stay and I wanted to get him outside. Andy and I had breakfast at the Sunrise Grill in Boone. It was my first time there. The food was ok, but the cleanliness of the restaurant did not impress me. There was something unidentifiable on my plate and particles of something else floating around in the bottom of my apple juice. So after our mediocre brunch we headed off in search of a harness for the bun. We went to Blowing Rock to the pet boutique on Main Street, The Barking Rock. Cute name. Anyway, I had seen some dog harnesses here a long time ago that I thought might work. We got a blue one in extra small for our little fur ball. As you can imagine, being in Blowing Rock, the price tag was a little hefty, but I was getting desperate. From there we went to get some food for Brunsie and a leash to go with his new harness and then for me to pick out some movies. Andy was camping that night so I was having a girls night.

Once we got home we put the harness on Brunswick and it fit. Horray! As you can imagine he was less than stoked to have it on. And then when we attached the leash that was a whole other catastrophe. He was running around like a crazy person trying to get loose. But we finally got a hold of him and got him outside... and then there was peace! He loved being outside. It was his first time ever and he had a great time! He is a curious little thing and so he had to sniff everything in sight. He didn't wander too far away from home. Like I said, it was his first time outside ever and there was a lot to explore within the 10 feet from the door. We ended the adventure for the day and went to help Andy get ready for his backpacking trip.

Brunsie and I sent Andy off with lots of bunny kisses and human kisses and then we had a visit from Jessie and Dori, and Thomas showed up a little later. Dori decided that she liked Brunswick and she wanted to play, but Brunswick didn't quite understand what she was doing. He was curious though and didn't seem to dislike her being there. He never thumped at her which is a good sign. Dori did however enjoy sharing the Brunsie treats.

Later that night we settled in for a movie marathon. I watched "The Golden Compass" and "P.S. I Love You". I wish I had known before hand that "The Golden Compass" was open ended. I probably would have waited until the sequel came out. Oh well, something to look forward to right? "P.S. I Love You" was not quite the blubber fest I had been warned about. It was sad, but it was kind of a feel good movie too. I really enjoyed it and I'm thinking of adding it to my collection.

I decided to have a "slumber party" with Brunswick. I don't sleep well when Andy isn't home so I blew up the air mattress in the living room and just left Brunsie out of his cage. He did really well and didn't get into any mischief until about 5 am when he decided to come visit me on the air mattress. I put him in his cage and he was making so much noise I had to move to the bedroom.

Andy came home around 8 am and I got up. Sunday was really relaxing. I decided to take a nap around 10:30 and I slept until 1. Wow, I guess I needed it. I still hadn't watched "Sweeny Todd" that I also rented on Saturday. Since Andy had no desire whatsoever to watch it he left to go visit some friends and I settled in for another movie. Ehh, It wasn't really my cup of tea. Once Andy got home he decided we needed to watch the Law & Order marathon. So from about 4 until bedtime we watched nothing but L&O. Needless to say, I could do without that show for a while. I did escape for a bit to go get some Hungry Howie's pizza. Yummy! We haven't had a nice greasy pizza in a long time. It was so good. I drug Andy to bed about midnight, even though the marathon wasn't over. He was asleep on the couch so I made a judgment call.

It seems like we had a lot going on this weekend, but really it was one of the most restful we've had in a long time.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Hi 49 Low 38, yuck!

Current Conditions in BE

Current weather "statement":
I give up on spring! It teases me and things start to get a little bit green up here and then we have a day like this. Last night was so windy the grill cover CAME OFF and blew away. We have no idea where it is. This is insane and it makes me not want to live here. I love Banner Elk, but I'm really getting sick of this weather. I've had enough. I want some stinkin' sunshine dang it!!!

Monday, May 5, 2008

The davenport is here!!

Horay for a new sofa!! Andy calls it a davenport. His grandparents called their couch the davenport so he has decided that our couch is a davenport too. Call it whatever you want, it's fabulous. I'm so excited to finally have a nice piece of furniture in the living room! I think the best part is that we can each have our own space and not have to take turn laying down!

Long time no post. Weekend update!

Wow, it's been a while. I guess I haven't had anything interesting happen in a while. But I just got home from a crazy busy weekend. Friday I drove down to Raleigh to go to my first nestie get together! A sleepover!!! It was so much fun and it was a blast to finally meet some people. I feel like I know them because I talk to them so much. Good to put some faces with some screen names.

Saturday I left our capitol (after a quick lunch with Julie) to head to Mooresville. I spent that night with Pam & Todd so I could go to some showers. I went to Whitney's bridal shower that night. It was so much fun and it was really great to see my friends. I got to meet Whit's BFF, Ashley, and she is every bit as wonderful as Whitney always said she was. It's so good to see Whitney happy. And I know she'll be glad to finally be a Mrs.

Saturday was another shower. Jenn's baby shower this time. She is such a cute pregnant woman. She looks really great to be so far along and seems to be doing well. I didn't make it to see the nursery. Hopefully when I'm down for Whitney's wedding. I can't wait to meet little Cole. I'm sure he'll be beautiful!

After the shower I headed back home, thankfully. It was a lot of fun, but I haven't traveled that much in a very long time. I'm still trying to recover.