Thursday, April 28, 2011

NC bound

On Saturday I'm flying out of Colorado, and away from the winter that will never end, to a land of green grass, warm temperatures and flip flops.

I'm going to North Carolina for a nice long visit. A three week visit. I'm excited for many reasons that I'm sure I don't really need to list, but I'm also a little sad. Andy and the bunnies are staying in Colorado.

I feel kind of like a hypocrite because I've been aching to go "home" to NC for months now, but honestly home is where my husband is. So, while I'm sure I'll enjoy myself immensely while I'm in the South, it's going to be a bitter sweet trip. Hopefully my friends and family will keep me entertained so that it passes quickly and I can come back to my love soon.

Also, this trip could mean one of two things for the blog. Posting could be more sparse (is that even possible?) or I could be so inspired by my return home that I bombard you with posts about the wonderful time I'm having. We'll see how it goes.

Enjoy the rest of your week!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

It's never going to end, is it?

Photos taken today, from our porch.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Just putting this out there

It seems like my blog directly reflects my life. Duh, you say, but I'm not just talking about the things I write about on here. I'm also referring to the things I don't say, i.e. my silence.

When things aren't so great I tend to shut down on the blog and if you look at my posting (or lack of) over the last couple months you can tell that life isn't exactly stellar right now.

I've said before that we hate it here, but I can't put into words just how stiffing this place is.I can't speak for all of Colorado, but as for the area we're in, it sucks. Or rather, the people suck. Some might say we're just homesick.

Yes and no. I think this goes beyond homesickness. No amount of time spent here is going to make the community more welcoming to us. It makes me sad and more than disappointed that we feel this way. This move is something that Andy and I have dreamed of for so long, and it's painful when dreams come true, but turn out to be something less than imagined.

I could go on about this for a while, but Andy and I have rehashed this so much in our day to day lives it seems pointless to do so on here. And getting on here every day to write, "We hate it here," "This place is terrible," "Why did we think it was going to be so great," whine, whine, whine, is just not my style. We made a decision and we're going to live with it until we're ready to make the next move.

And now I'm going to do the thing that everyone says they hate when bloggers do it. I'm going to tell you that we have made several decisions about our future, but I'm not going to tell the internet about it. Not yet. We need to put some things into action before I talk about what we're going to do and where we're going to go next. So, sorry. You'll just have to wait. If anyone still reads this thing.

On the bright side, the warm days (if you call 50 degrees warm) are starting to outweigh the cold, so maybe I can take some pictures to put on here that aren't mountains covered in snow. Here's hoping.

Friday, April 1, 2011

April is the best month

Oh, hey! I'm not dead. Isn't that great?

So, it's April. I love this month, and not only because it's my birthday month. This Sunday, the 3rd, I'll turn 29. Lately I've been thinking a lot about getting older, and I've come to some conclusions. But more on that later, because right now I'm going to tell you something else.

Today is April Fool's Day. Did you now? Has someone played a prank on you?

I hate April Fool's Day. I'm usually a very practical person and it really gripes my bottom when someone tricks me. Also, I have a very transparent face. What I'm thinking shows very clearly on my money maker, so I'm not good at lying. In order to pull off a good prank you must be good at telling lies. So, the "Fool" part of April 1st is not my favorite, but I'm glad it's April.

In honor of this most horrible holiday, I thought I'd tell you about a little conversation I had with Andy earlier this week. He wasn't trying to trick me, but the outcome of the conversation was something completely different than what I had expected at the beginning, so in essence, he fooled me.

Anyway, we were sitting in the living room. He was watching something on television and I was looking at something on the computer, "window" shopping, no doubt. Out of nowhere Andy pipes up and says, "Do you know what I wish someone had told me about us getting married?"

Danger! Danger! Tread carefully!

What on earth have I done wrong? We haven't even had so much as a petty argument in a while, so I really had no idea what brought this on. Not that we needed to be in a fight for him to think something like this, but it's generally the disagreements that make you wish someone had prepared you ahead of time how to deal with it.

There was no getting out of it, though, so I girded my loins, prepared myself for the worst and asked, "No, what?"

You'll never, ever guess what he said. Prepare yourself.

"I wish someone had told me ahead of time that I was supposed to say something at our rehearsal dinner. I would have like to have had time to prepare something." He said.

WHAT?! What on earth made him think of that?

There were a couple of reactions going on in my head after I heard that little bit of loveliness. First I thought (and said), "Oh my gosh! Get over it already!" You see, we have been married for just over four and a half years now, and in that time whenever someone brings up our wedding or he hears the words "rehearsal dinner" he goes on and on about how he had to give a speech that night and no one had told him and why hadn't they told him because he didn't mind having to do it but he would have liked some advance warning so he would have been able to think about what to say, and for the love of mercy, build a bridge, Andy!

My second reaction was to realize that after all these years the worst thing he can think of about our marriage, the thing that blind sided him the most, was something that happened before we were even married. Really? Nothing else? So I asked, "Is there anything about actually being married that you wish you'd known?" He said, "Nope. I think it's been pretty normal."

And you know what? I think he's right. I don't know about normal, but there haven't really been any surprises. I mean, there have been some unexpected things that life threw at us, like job loss and in particular my car crash, but those could/would have happened with or without us being married. All-in-all though, I got what I expected out of marriage, and I guess he has too, so far.

We're happy together. As a bride you have so many expectations and big ideas of what it's going to be like once you're married. Now, four and a half years later, being happy seems like a pretty big accomplishment. At the end of the day, that's the most I ask for and need. Being happy with my husband makes all of the other inadequacies that life throws my way seem less important. I expected so much, but got exactly what I needed. It's funny how that works, isn't it?

Happy April!