Oh me? I'm still angry. I'm also feeling like a negative nellie lately. Hence my absence from any kind of regular posting. Sometimes it's hard to be upbeat and I'm having a hard time with gratitude lately. And nobody wants me to constantly spew my bad mojo out, least of all me, so I've been taking a little break.
Honestly I've seriously considered turning off my phone and computer for a week and just taking a "vacation" from the rest of the world. Wouldn't that be nice?
Anyway, in the hopes of getting out of my funk I've decided to just get all my complaints out in one really awful post. Here goes.
- I want Roommate to move out already. I want my home back. I want my alone time back and my alone time with my husband. I feel like I'm living in You, Me and Dupree. One night last week Andy and I went to bed before him and when he finally turned in he left all the lights on in the apartment. What the heck?! Also, if he hangs his effing wet towel on the bedpost (of my grandmother's bed) one more time he is going to be downgraded to all-air-mattress-all-the-time status. I want to cook dinner and eat it with just Andy and not feel like I need to invite him to join us. I am counting down the days until August gets here, because for better or worse he is moving out in August. Even if his apartment falls through he is moving out in August.
- Last Thursday and Friday I didn't eat a single home cooked meal because of some unforeseen circumstances. On Saturday my stomach staged a revolt against me.
- In two weeks time we start "operation get released from all my doctors and start negotiating a settlement" and just thinking about the process that is coming has me torn between bursting into tears and throwing up. Y'all, I just don't want to talk about the accident. I don't know if I can talk about the accident. I don't know if I'm strong enough.
- Andy and I went out Sunday and on our way home we saw a car upside down in a ditch. And I mean completely upside down on it's roof with the wheels still spinning. There were people stopping and Andy and I pulled over too. We were going to try to do what we could to help, but I was pretty much paralyzed with fear. The whole day of my accident came back and I started to breathe heavy like something was sitting on my chest. Then I started to cry. I told Andy I didn't think I could be much help, but thankfully about that time someone had helped the driver out of the back windshield and he appeared to be alright. At least not seriously injured, and the first responders got there, so we left because we didn't see it happen and there clearly wasn't much for us to do. But I hate that I reacted that way. Especially since I used to be pretty good in stressful situations, but now it looks like I'll be dissolving into a sobbing heap at the first sign of trouble. I don't like that about myself now.
- On Monday our hot water heater took a dump and I hadn't had a shower yet that day. We don't have a plug for our bathtub because the old one was all gross and old and I threw it out and haven't replaced it yet. So I took a bath with water that I heated in a pot on the stove. Except I got it too hot and had to turn the cold water on and try to mix the two waters together. The whole time I was alternately burning or freezing myself. It was great fun. They got the water heater fixed on Tuesday, but not until later in the day and it took nearly three hours for the water to get warm again.
- I'm running longer and longer distances and I'm so proud of myself. Good right? Um well, it would be good except that the guy who sold me my running shoes is a complete idiot and talked me into something that worked fine when I was just doing short workouts, but now that I'm getting more serious about it my shoes are a major problem. I'm pretty sure I'm getting shin splints and I've been getting blisters on my arches. On my arches!! Who get's blisters on their arches?! It's painful and it makes me afraid to go run. Also, those shoes were expensive and they have at least half their life left and I hate to waste that. So I'm going to try inserts to see if that helps, but it makes me really angry. And running is a major stress reliever for me, so yeah. Maybe that's why I'm in such a bad mood lately.
- We have new neighbors. They are around our age and they have a three year old. Andy was worried about the kid being loud, but so far he hasn't been a problem at all. We don't even notice that he's there. What you do notice is that they apparently have a huge stereo system that they like to turn way up and each evening we eat dinner and watch television with the constant thump! thump! thump! of whatever music they're rocking out to. Clearly they don't realize they share walls with other people. Andy and I have always wanted a surround sound system, but haven't ever gotten one because we share walls and we didn't want to be inconsiderate. However, that is quickly moving up to number one on the shopping list. It doesn't even have to be a good system, so long as it's loud.
There it is folks. All my angry, ungrateful, whiny feelings out there for the world to see. Do you understand why I haven't been posting? Who wants to read that every day? Or write it, for that matter?
I'm going to go stick my head in the ground now. Leave me something happy to help get me out of this funk. Thanks!
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