At least we know our limitations

Yesterday the National Geographic channel launched a new series called Expedition Great White. I have an unhealthy obsession with shark shows, so I was planning on watching it. Sharks freak Andy out and he spent all day in dread of the 9 o'clock hour.

Despite my shark obsession I don't like the ocean. I love the beach and the sand and even wading in the water, but getting in past my ankles is something I don't do. Andy doesn't either. Because he's afraid of something eating him. He's also afraid of jelly fish.

Pretty much, the ocean creeps us both out.

Last night, while we were cleaning up from dinner and I was counting down the minutes until Expedition Great White, Andy and I had a little conversation about our fear of the ocean and what it meant for our future children. Because for reasons unknown to either of us, children (or the children we know) have no fear of the ocean and just plunge right in.

Andy: When we have kids and take them to the beach we're going to have to hire someone to go into the ocean with them because neither of us like the ocean.


Me: What? No. In my family the dads go into the ocean with the kids while the moms watch from a safe distance on the sand. So you're going to have to suck it up.


Andy: But what if something eats me?


Me: Maybe our fear of the ocean is genetic and we'll pass it on to our kids, otherwise you have to go in with them. But you are NOT allowed to scare them away from the ocean by telling them that something is going to eat them.


Andy: Why not? Then we won't have to worry about it. I'll only go in with them as long as we go somewhere that I can see through the water to the bottom.


Me: ::rolling my eyes:: You don't have to go in very deep. Just wade in up to your knees and you'll be fine.


Andy: Something could still eat me in the shallow water.


Me: Not if you're just in up to your ankles. You can at least do that with our kids.


Andy: Jellyfish could still sting me and our kid. And you know what happens then don't you?


Me: You have to pee on it.


Andy Yes! And you know what I hate more than sharks and jellyfish and the ocean?


Me: Feces? Human waste?


Andy: POOP and PEE!!!!

Now on our list of "must haves" when kids come: Ocean Swimmer and Diaper Changer.