Thursday, June 24, 2010

Because they will never understand

Warning: It appears that I have no shame and really will write about anything on the internet. Meaning, that the following is about my menstrual cycle, which I don't go into truly gory detail about however, if you have any objections to that subject matter I recommend you walk away from this post now. Otherwise, you may proceed.

So this week I started my period. I usually have one really bad day at the beginning and then I manage to cope pretty well.

Usually during my one bad day I'm a complete bitch and I manage to whine more in 24 hours than I did in six months of being poked, prodded, stuck, pulled and all together tortured in the hospital and various doctor's offices. So Andy and I have come to an agreement.

I'll let him know when The Day is coming and when it arrives he speaks to me as little as possible until I've taken some sort of pain relief medication and eaten at least half a dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts. He's alright with this arrangement because he doesn't get his head bitten off and I usually give him the other half dozen. Okay, I give him at least one.

But this time has been worse. The Day came early Tuesday morning right in the middle of a lovely sinus issue/infection. Since having my right sinus cavity torn from my face a year ago it really hasn't given me any problems until this go-round with sinus drainage. It's been quite a doozy and my face hurts. Along with my throat and stomach thanks to all the lovely drainage.

Add all that to The Day and I was past whiny right into being certain I was going to die.

All day Tuesday whenever I spoke to Andy I told him I was dying.

Sometimes I even sent him random text messages that said things like: I'm dying. That is all.

At one point I told him he was going to come home and find me dead and I'd miss him when I was gone.

What? I'm allowed a little melodrama now and then.

Later in the day he called and said he and Roommate were going to town and wanted to know if I'd like to go or if I needed anything. Of course I didn't want to go. I wanted to lay on the sofa and wallow in self pity. I told him just that, but asked would he please pick up a few things for me. I needed some more sinus medication and some feminine products. Then I had to send him a text message with a detailed description of exactly what I wanted. I even went a step farther and took a picture of my empty package and sent him that too. I didn't do it to be nice, I did it because we both knew if he got the wrong thing he would be making a second trip to the store that night.

He came home a hero with all the right products. I asked him if Roommate made fun of him for buying me feminine products. He said no, but Roommate did share with Andy his theory that all women have a never ending back stock of feminine products and they just pretend like they run out to see if their husbands/boyfriends would go buy more.

To which I replied that that was the stupidest thing I had ever heard, and why on earth would I risk Andy getting the wrong thing if I could go myself or if I had some already? Men!

Anyway, my misery lasted a bit longer this time than usual so I've been kind of pitiful all week.

The point of all that was to tell you that today I was feeling better so I took a trip with Andy to get some things he needed for work so I could get out and about. While we were driving around he looked over at me and said, "Are you feeling less dead today?"

I just kind of looked at him for a second, but decided it wasn't worth it and said, "Yes honey. Thanks for asking."

But y'all...

This whole time, I don't think he's been taking me seriously.


  1. "Are you feeling less dead today?" That is soo funny! Go Andy!

  2. Go Andy? Who's side are you on sister? We'll see how much sympathy you get next time you're pregnant...

  3. I'm on your side for sure! I also have a really bad go every month and for the record....I probably would have thrown a punch :O)

  4. Thanks Amanda! Us women have to stick together. I don't know what Julie is thinking.

  5. I was thinking it was a funny smart ass statement that you would have made had the tables been turned. That is what I was thinking!